All posts by Liz Stincelli

Leadership, Management

Four Traits of Selfless Leaders-Guest Post by Doug Dickerson

It’s difficult to find common ground with others when the only person you’re focused on is yourself. – John Maxwell

You may have heard the story of two friends who met for dinner in a restaurant. Each requested filet of sole. After a few minutes the waiter came back with their order. Two pieces of fish, one large and one small, were on the same platter. One of the men proceeded to serve his friend. Placing the small piece on a plate, he handed it across the table.

“Well, you certainly do have nerve!” exclaimed his friend. ”

“What’s troubling you?” asked the other. “Look what you’ve done,” he answered. “You’ve given me the little piece and kept the big one for yourself.” “How would you have done it?” the man asked. His friend replied, “If I were serving, I would have given you the big piece.” “Well,” replied the man, “I’ve got it, haven’t I?” At this, they both laughed.

One leader’s self-confidence is another leader’s arrogance in the world of perceptions. So let’s put the cards on the table up front- many leaders struggle with acts of selfishness. We want the big piece of fish. It’s not a truth to take pride in but one in which we have to acknowledge if we are going to grow and mature as a leader. In my own leadership journey the biggest mistakes I’ve made along the way can be traced back to selfish acts.

Growing to this new level in your leadership is about overcoming your fears, insecurities, and misconceptions about what it means to lead in a selfless manner. Here are four traits of selfless leaders and why they matter.

Selfless leaders empower their people

The emergence of a selfless leadership style begins by embracing this fundamental principle: until you empower your people they are only spectators. When they are empowered they can produce, achieve, and succeed. Unless you mature in this area as a leader you will never grow to your full potential.

Why does this matter? It matters because in any successful organization it’s empowered team members who run with the vision, fulfill its mission, and achieve its goals. Selfless leaders make it possible not by promoting themselves but by promoting others.

Selfless leaders share the credit

Billy Hornsby once observed, “It’s okay to let those you lead outshine you, for if they shine brightly enough, they will reflect positively on you.” The powerful wisdom of that statement must not be lost on the reality that selfish leaders struggle in this area.

A selfish leader wants to take all of the credit- often at the expense of work others did, and boast “look at what I did.”

Why does this matter? A selfless leader will concede being in the spotlight by putting someone else in it. It matters because each individual who had skin in the game and gave it their all deserve credit. A selfless leader will gladly say, “Look at what we did!”

Selfless leaders initiate the conversation

The mark of maturity in a leader begins to take shape when he or she invites open and honest conversation instead of dodging it. Selfish leaders seek to control the message, the agenda, and in the end stifle creativity and deprive themselves of much needed feedback. If a leader’s head is buried in the sand the view for everyone else is not that pleasant. Instead, a selfless leader engages in conversation with his or her people and makes it a priority.

Why does this matter? A selfless leader understands that open communication is the life-blood of the organization. Disconnected people create disconnected organizations. Selfless leaders build bridges and get people talking because your survival depends on it.

Selfless leaders create the culture

Leaders, whether selfish or selfless, set the tone and create the organizational atmosphere. Through your growth and maturity as a leader you’ve come to understand that people buy in to your actions and attitudes before they embrace your vision. Better to be rejected as a leader because people did not embrace your vision than because they did not embrace your selfish leadership style.

Why does this matter? Selfless leaders understand that value is created where value is given. Selfless leaders know that when they help others succeed they succeed. It matters because when this is the underlying foundation of your organizational structure it creates an atmosphere where everybody wins, not just a few.

What do you say?

 

© 2016 Doug Dickerson

Doug Dickerson is an internationally recognized leadership columnist, author, and speaker. Read more at Dougdickerson.wordpress.com

Connection, Leadership, Success

A Multifaceted Approach to Connection

“You bring a little bit of yourself into every character you play. We’re multifaceted creatures.” —Linden Ashby

The most beneficial connections are not built using shallow, superficial tactics. To develop strong connections you must use a multifaceted approach. This means you must bring ALL of who you are to the table. As Linden Ashby said in the above quote, you are a multifaceted creature. Why not use a multifaceted approach to building better connections?

Your past

Your level of connection can be deepened by your past. What experiences have you had? What lessons have you learned? We connect better when we can see the human side of others. Your past offers a window into who you are and where you come from.

Your present

Where are you presently in your journey? What do you do? Who do you know? Your present plays a huge role in your ability to connect and find commonality with others; it allows for mutually beneficial interactions.

Your dreams for the future

What about tomorrow? Where do you want to be and what do you want to do? Sharing your dreams for the future shows hope and inspiration. People want to surround themselves with others who are striving to achieve worthwhile goals.

Personal

You must connect with others on a personal level. Who are you? Not the persona that you portray, not the mask that you wear; who are you when no one is watching? This is the personal you who people want to get to know and connect with.

Professional

You must connect with others on a professional level. What do you do? The professional you is the you that has something to offer that will benefit the business life of others. You have connections, experience, and advice that others can gain from.

Community

You are part of a community but, is it the right community? Where do you belong? Who else belongs there with you? None of us succeed alone. We need a community where there is mutual support and encouragement. We need to surround ourselves with others who challenge us and who are striving to continually improve themselves.

Connect on Many Levels

When you connect on many levels you increase the likelihood that you will find common experiences, interests, and goals with others. These commonalities allow for a deeper, more meaningful connection. Your past, your present, and your dreams for the future all contribute to who you are. You must bring all of you, both the personal and professional you. You need to become part of a community where you can connect with others who share something of value with you and you with them. You are a multifaceted creature; start using ALL of you to build better connections.

 

 

© 2016 Elizabeth Stincelli

 

Liz Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the Founder of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations change attitudes, change communication dynamics, improve collaboration and problem-solving, engage employees, and strengthen organizational culture. Liz holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Learn more about Liz by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com or engagenow.me and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.

 

Communication, Leadership

What is the Quality of Your Communication?

“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble.” —Yehuda Berg

Your communication can build others up, or it can tear them down. As a leader, it is your responsibility to teach, encourage, and support. These all require quality communication. Here are four keys to quality communication.

Trust

Are you friend or foe? This is the very first question that others will seek to answer before any communication takes place. If they determine you to be a friend, they will trust you and quality communication can take place. If you are a foe, there will be no trust and without trust, there will be no true communication.

Listen

Quality communication is a two-way street. If you want the other party to participate, you must listen. Listening requires you to set aside your assumptions, turn off that little voice in your head that likes to judge others, and truly hear what is being said. When you really listen to the ideas, concerns, and opinions of others your communications will become more meaningful.

Care

People are more open to quality communication if they know that you authentically care about them as an individual. No one likes to communicate with someone who is just going through the motions. When others know that you care about what they have to share and when they know you are looking out for their best interests, you will be able to communicate on a deeper level.

Follow-through

At the end of the day, all the communicating in the world does not matter if there is no follow-through. Never leave others wondering where things lie on an issue or idea. Have a follow-up conversation, even if it may not be what they want to hear. Follow-through shows respect and it is this respect that will improve the quality of conversations in the future.

True Communication

Have you checked your communication lately? The only true communication is quality communication. When others know they can trust you; when you really listen to them; when they know you care; and when they can count on you to follow-through, then, and only then, can you start to truly communicate. What is the quality of your communication? It’s about time you find out.

 

 

© 2016 Elizabeth Stincelli

 

Liz Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the Founder of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations change attitudes, change communication dynamics, improve collaboration and problem-solving, engage employees, and strengthen organizational culture. Liz holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Learn more about Liz by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.

 

Leadership

Whose Interests are You Serving?

serve“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.” —Arthur Ashe

You’re the leader, it is your responsibility to lift and inspire others. But, as a leader, it is all too easy to work, day in and day out, under only the guise of doing what is in the best interest of others. Caution, who are you fooling? When push comes to shove, whose interests are you really serving?

Who’s in your charge?

As a leader, it is your responsibility to serve the interests of those in your charge. You must get really clear on who it is that you should be serving. You should be lifting those in your charge, helping them grow, and supporting them in their endeavors. If you are not serving their interests, whose are you serving?

Us vs. them

It is your responsibility, as a leader, to create win-win situations. It should never one group’s interests against another’s. There is no place for an us vs. them attitude in leadership. If you are serving the interest of one party over another, you better take a close look at whose interests you are serving.

Authenticity

The clearest test of whose interests you are serving is authenticity. If you are serving the right interests you should have nothing to hide. As a leader, you set the example. What drum are you marching too? Because, that is the same drum those in your charge will follow. If you want to succeed together, you have to be authentically serving each other and each other’s interests.

It’s Not about You

Leadership is NEVER about the leader. It is about serving the interests of those in your charge; creating a win-win working environment where there is no us vs. them; and being authentic with no hidden agendas. As long as you live by the principle that “it’s not about you,” you know you will be serving the right interests.

 

 

© 2016 Elizabeth Stincelli

 

Liz Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the Founder of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations change attitudes, change communication dynamics, improve collaboration and problem-solving, engage employees, and strengthen organizational culture. Liz holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.

Learn more about Liz by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.

 

Leadership, Leadership Behaviors, Management

Top 3 Mistakes Most Managers Make

heather-guestGuest Post by: Heather R. Younger, J.D. CCXP

 

Rank does not confer privilege or give power. It imposes responsibility. Peter F. Drucker

In my role, I often meet with employee focus groups and leaders of organizations. While on one side I am privy to what employees think of their manager’s effectiveness, I also see first-hand some of the key mistakes that block managers’ ability to be their best. Below are the top five mistakes I see managers make in their role as manager.

I have to focus on getting work done.

I do live in the real world where organizations exist to make money and profits. To this extent, I understand that managers have to meet their own deadlines. They have to get work done.

Having said that, most managers focus too much of their effort on tasks and not on the people who help perform the tasks. These are the same people who can make or break the customer experience and the bottom line.

I challenge managers to schedule in a sliver of time every week to sit with each team member. Having meaningful conversations with team members will actually drive improved performance.

We believe in this so much that we created a Meaningful Conversations tip sheet for managers.Click Here if you need direction.

I see what you are doing, but don’t have time to recognize you.

This is a big one!

I don’t think I need to be academic about this concept, because we all crave more consistent recognition. It is such an important driver of employee engagement that Gallup research still lists it as one of the top reasons employees remain with or leave an organization.

If you are a manager, how often do you recognize your team members? Remember, know how your team member likes to receive recognition. Some just don’t like big parties and balloons. Many just prefer a “thank you.”

Be sure to use their name and be as specific as possible about the reason for the recognition. This way, they know what types of behaviors drive positive praise from you.

In order to have long-lasting effects, you want to recognize team members every seven days. I don’t mean you have to give them a party or even give them a ribbon. Keep it simple. If you go too long before praising them, they will forget that positive feeling and that affects performance.

How did you feel the last time your manager recognized you?

Give that same feeling to your team members often!

I need to tell you what you are doing wrong and don’t have time to care about how that sounds.

Ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it?”

Managers are in a unique position to be able to use their authority for the betterment of others, or to use it to make others feel awful for their shortcomings or mistakes.

I would caution managers from jumping too quickly to find their team members’ mistakes. If you notice that any one team member’s performance, behavior or attitude is below your standards, sit with them to find out what might be going on to cause such a change.

Let them know that you are concerned about this decline. Offer to provide clear guidance to help them get back on track. They need to know that you are not always judging them. Choose your words carefully in order to avoid creating this perception.

They need to know that you are on their side and will fight for them if they put in the hard work.

The good news?

Managers can control whether or not they make these mistakes and how often they choose to do so. While the power and authority rests on the manager to drive their team forward, the more important thing to remember is to use that power for the good of the team. I know that these mistakes can create a lot of frustration. What other mistakes do you think many managers make? Ideas on how to stop them?

heatherpic

 

Senior Consultant and Trainer

Heather is a leadership strategist and employee engagement consultant, trainer, coach and speaker with proven expertise in building Voice of the Employee cultures and acting as catalyst for employee-driven cultural & process improvements. Heather is a frequent author on LinkedIn’s Pulse platform, a blog contributor for Huffington Post and a member and Certified Customer Experience Professional with the Customer Experience Professional’s Association.

Heather truly believes that the fastest way to create employee engagement and loyalty is to transform organizational culture into an environment focused on breaking down silos, aligning around a common purpose, empowering employees to do their best work and reinvigorating leaders to take ownership in their role in creating all of it.