Why Can’t Your Employees Talk to You?
“You don’t get unity by ignoring the questions that have to be faced.” —Jay Weatherill
By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM
Why?
Every one of you is probably thinking “This doesn’t apply to me. My employees are always welcome to talk to me.” Guess what? Many of you would be surprised to find that your employees would disagree with you. And, when your employees aren’t talking to you, you miss out on the information and questions that can bring unity and success to your organization. So, why can’t your employees talk to you?
Ego
Robin S. Sharma explained, “Leadership is not a popularity contest; it’s about leaving your ego at the door.” It’s easy to fall into the mindset that your ideas have worked in the past so why do you need to listen to employees’ input now. Do you think you know what employees and customers want; that you know what’s best for them? When you let you ego go unchecked, you send the signal throughout your organization that there is no point in trying to talk to you. You come across as untrustworthy and disrespectful. You send the message that you think your employees are incompetent and their opinions are of little value. If you want your employee to talk to you, leave your ego at the door.
Fear
Charles Stanley believes, “Fear stifles our thinking and actions. It creates indecisiveness that results in stagnation.” I’m not talking about your employees’ fear, I’m talking about yours. Are you are afraid of what you will hear, that you might have to take on a challenge? Are you more comfortable maintaining the status quo than having to question it? When you let your fear interfere with being open to hearing what your employees have to say, you may be causing your organization and your leadership to stagnate. Your fear often causes you to become defensive, sending the message that you’re not open to listening to the ideas and perspectives of others. If you want your employees to talk to you, recognize your fear and turn it into curiosity.
Laissez-faire leadership
James Caan said, “My least favorite phrase in the English language is ‘I don’t care’.” Are you a laissez-faire leader? Or maybe a better question is, are you perceived as a laissez-faire leader? Are you so hands-off that your employees question whether or not you even care? Recognize that there is a difference between trusting your employees to operate without undue interference from you, as a leader, and not wanting to be bothered with the issues or concerns of your employees. If you want your employees to talk to you, make sure they know that you care about what they have to say.
Make a Change
Robert Baden-Powell told us, “If you make listening and observation your occupation you will gain much more than you can by talk.” The key to effective leadership is influence, and others will be more open to influence when they feel they have been heard. Chances are you don’t even realize that you are perceived as not willing to listen. Keep your ego in check, don’t let fear stand in the way of what you might learn by listening, and make sure your employees know that you care about what they have to say. Sometimes, as a leader, there are challenges and questions that have to be faced. Make a change and ensure that your employees CAN talk to you.
© 2015 Elizabeth Stincelli
Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.
Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.
When You Listen Like a Leader
Listen Like a Leader
“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” —Larry King
By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM
Listening Like a Leader
One of the most important leadership skills, that outstanding leaders have mastered, is the ability to listen. Genuine listening is one of the key ways you can show your strength as a leader; it shows confidence and establishes trust. As Larry King said in the quote above, the only way you are going to learn anything is by listening. Sounds simple enough, but so few people listen like a leader. When you listen like a leader, you listen with the intent to gain true understanding, you show respect to others, you make real connections, and you build mutual trust.
Understanding
Leonardo da Vinci believed, “The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.” Outstanding leaders are insatiably curios; they ask open-ended questions that challenge the status quos and help others to reframe problems and ideas. In order to gain a true understanding you must leave your own agenda at the door and learn to recognize your biases so that you are open to really understanding what others have to say. You must encourage people to not only share their thoughts, but to dig deeper into what lies beneath those thoughts. Recognize that everyone has something valuable to contribute and take the opportunity to reach across the organization, listening like a leader with the intent to gain understanding.
Respect
Bryant H. McGill tells us, “One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” Outstanding leaders understand that it’s not all about them. Listening to others is the ultimate sign of respect and it shows you care. It demonstrates how much you value and respect the experience and knowledge of others when you ask for their input. People want to be consulted and know that they’ve been heard and their ideas are taken under serious consideration. Show that you respect their opinions and are confident enough to welcome others to challenge, question, and disagree with you. Admit when you are wrong or don’t have the answer. Ask the questions that will have a real impact and then listen like a leader to what others have to offer.
Connection
Rollo May said, “Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy, and mutual valuing.” An outstanding leader looks for connections and develops personal relationships by really listening to others. You let them know you care about what they think and about their ideas when you truly listen. You must create a safe place for people to open up and share knowledge, ideas, and opinions. Listening like a leader allows you to find the connections that transform relationships and teams.
Trust
Stephen Covey explained, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” Outstanding leaders build trust by proving they are good listeners. Leadership is all about influence and if you want to have an influence, others have to know they have been heard. Listening shows that you value the thoughts of others, that you are worthy of their trust, and encourages them to continue to communicate. Listen like a leader and develop the trusting relationships that allow you to influence others.
How to Do It
So, how do you listen like a leader? You listen without having an answer or response already in mind; don’t just listen to confirm what you already think you know. Let others know that you hear them and that you care about what they have to share. You ask questions and follow up. You put yourself in their shoes so that you can empathize with their point of view. You limit distractions and give your undivided attention. You not only pay attention to what is being said and how they say it, but also to what is not being said. You talk less and listen more to gain understanding, show respect, uncover and develop connections, and build trust. Then, and only then, will you be listening like a leader.
© 2015 Elizabeth Stincelli
Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.
Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.
Three Daily Behaviors for Effective Leadership
“The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda.” —John C. Maxwell
By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM
Daily Behaviors
Your ability to inspire and influence, as a leader, is tied directly to your daily behaviors. These behaviors need to be based on your core values and they need to support a strong, shared vision. Your leadership should never be about you; your focus every day should be on creating win-win situations where not only the organization wins, but employees win. If you can successfully create these situations, you also win as an effective leader.
The performance of any one individual is linked to the health of the culture as a whole, and culture grows out of your leadership behaviors. Your behaviors lead to effective leadership when you appreciate the value in the contribution of each individual and invest in helping your employees grow. Show your employees that you care about them as individuals on a daily basis. Serve as a coach and a cheerleader for your team. If you A.C.E. your daily behaviors you will become a more effective leader.
Acknowledge
Tim Ferriss explained, “For most people, happiness in life is a massive amount of achievement plus a massive amount of appreciation. And you need both of those things.” Your employees need to know that you care. They need to see that you recognize and appreciate that everyone has something of value to offer. Get to know your employees and make them feel valued on an individual level. Express sincere, specific appreciation. Acknowledge progress and potential by providing opportunities to gain further experience and knowledge; seek to promote from within when possible. Share the credit; acknowledge that you accomplish nothing alone.
Communicate
Louis V. Gerstner, Jr. said, “It’s about communication. It’s about honesty. It’s about treating people in the organization as deserving to know the facts. You don’t try to give them half the story. You don’t try to hide the story. You treat them as true equals and you communicate and you communicate and communicate.” As a leader, you must invest in relationships and building trust on a daily basis. You need to communicate your passion in a way that will connect others to your vision, mission, and current focus. You need to be transparent and share pertinent information so that employees not only have the information needed to do their jobs but also to feel they are an important part of a long-term vision and goal. Above all else, you must learn to be good at listening. When you listen, it shows your employees that you care. When they know you care, they put their trust in you and will give 100% to their work.
Engage
Rupert Murdoch believes, “In motivating people you’ve got to engage their minds and their hearts. I motivate people, I hope, by example- and perhaps by excitement, by having productive ideas to make others feel involved.” You must give your employees a reason to believe they are part of something bigger than themselves. On a daily basis you must show that you are confident in their abilities and interested in their input. Give them the opportunity to manage their own work. Provide an environment where it is safe for them to fail and learn the lessons that their mistakes have to offer. Encourage your employees to solve problems and make decisions; not because they have to, but because they want to. When you ignite passion and excitement for the vision they are contributing to reaching they will be engaged in their work and everyone will reap the benefits.
Effective Leadership
Effective leaders acknowledge, communicate with, and engage employees on a daily basis. They know that it’s not about them; it’s about those who follow them. They value the skills and knowledge that each employee brings to the table. They communicate ‘with’ not ‘to’ employees. They awaken excitement in working together towards a shared vision. A.C.E. your daily leadership behaviors; your ability to inspire and influence depends on it.
© 2015 Elizabeth Stincelli
Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.
Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.
Culture Matters
How Leadership Impacts Culture and Why it Matters
“Research shows that the climate of an organization influences an individual’s contribution far more than the individual himself.” —W. Edwards Deming
By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM
How Leadership Impacts Culture
Culture is a set of values, behaviors, and habits that operate within the organization even when no one is looking. The culture of an organization is driven by what leaders value, how they behave, and what they communicate. Leadership ripples through the organization with either productive or devastating power. It can build or break down barriers; widen or bridge gaps. It can build others and inspire greatness or it can tear others down and cause them to disengage. Leadership either encourages collaboration and challenging the status quo or stifles teamwork and innovation.
Culture and inspiration grow from the vision, long-standing values, and behaviors of the leader. If the leader is seen as being selfless and authentic then followers are more likely to buy into their vision for the future. This type of leader inspires a trusting and consistent culture.
As a leader, employees watch how you behave to determine if you are authentic and deserving of support. You are always under observation; employees are taking their social and cultural cues from you. Are you transparent? Are you willing to share pertinent information about the organization including financial metrics and profit, operating plans, priorities, and the current focus? Are you supportive and encouraging? When you are transparent and share information employees feel secure, they feel like they are an important part of a team, and they want to be part of your vision. Your leadership has a direct and deep-seated impact on the culture of your organization.
Why it Matters
The top challenges facing organizations today are culture, engagement, and employee retention. Culture matters because it is the very fiber of the organization and determines how goals will be accomplished. The culture you create serves as the vehicle with which you get people working together towards accomplishing a shared vision. A dysfunctional culture hurts your bottom line; it results in decreased productivity and quality, increased employee absences, and higher turnover. The culture of your organization determines how employees feel about their work and themselves; when they feel good they invest 100% of themselves in their performance.
Your culture ultimately translates into your brand. What do you want your brand message to be? If you, as the leader, do not serve something greater than yourself, your employees will not follow. They may perform their tasks, but when their hearts are not in it productivity and engagement suffer. When productivity and engagement suffer, how your organization is perceived by clients, suppliers, and the community suffers. Your leadership isn’t about you; it’s about recognizing and bringing out the best in others while uniting teams under a common vision for the future. Are your employees engaged? The level of employee engagement is a good indication of the health of the culture in your organization.
Set your ego aside and take an honest assessment of your culture and the impact your behavior, as a leader, is having. Your culture will mimic the same tone, mission, and values as your leadership. You can’t fool yourself any longer; culture matters. Your culture tells everyone why your organization exists, where it is going, and how it will get there. Look around, you can see the culture in what your employees are saying about you and in the levels of positive energy or negative energy in your organization.
Take-Away
No one can know or do everything themselves, we all need the cooperation of others to succeed. Your leadership can transform the culture into one that is supportive and engaging or it can tear down the very fabric of cooperation and dedication. Are your employees engaged and excited to be part of your vision? What you value, how you behave, and what you communicate, as a leader, will create the culture of your organization. And, culture matters.
© 2015 Elizabeth Stincelli
Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.
Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.
Five Toxic Leadership Behaviors that Poison Culture
“Live or die, but don’t poison everything.” —Anne Sexton
By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM
Leadership Behaviors
What you, as a leader, do everyday has a ripple effect throughout your organization. This ripple impacts the culture of the organization and determines how things are done and the level of performance you get from your employees. Are you, as a leader, nurturing or poisoning your culture? Do your behaviors give the impression that you are micromanaging everything? Are you communicating effectively? Are you so focused on what needs to be done that you forget why you are even doing it? Have you developed relationships built on mutual trust or are you fostering distrust? Are you tearing down silos in your organization or are you reinforcing them? Learn to recognize and avoid these five toxic leadership behaviors that poison culture.
Micromanagement
Kris Carr tells us, “Sometimes our need to control and micromanage everything erodes our confidence in ourselves and others. The truth: people are much more capable than we think.” Micromanagement is the result of a lack of trust and a need to feel in control. When you micromanage, you undermine you employees’ confidence in their own abilities and stifle any growth or progress they have the potential to make. Employees who are being micromanaged become frustrated and begin wasting time and resources rather than delivering exceptional performance. This type of work environment destroys morale and engagement and poisons culture. Help your employees develop their skills and gain the experience necessary to become the best they can be. Learn to trust their abilities and allow them to do their jobs. When employees feel respected and appreciated they will become more productive, more loyal, and more engaged.
Poor communication
Yehuda Berg said, “Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair.” Communication is at the heart of how you, as a leader, achieve your goals. The way you communicate can create strong connections and inspire trust or it can destroy trust, morale, and engagement. Are you using your communication to build others up or to tear them down? Be transparent in your communication. You can’t know everything; ask questions, get clarification, and listen openly to the answers and suggestion your employees have to offer. Be collaborative, consider the perspective of others, and frame your communication to fit your audience. When your employees know there is open, two-way communication throughout the organization, they will be better informed and more inclined to share their knowledge and ideas.
Focusing on what instead of why
John F. Kennedy believed, “Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.” Are you focusing so much on what you do that you have forgotten why you are doing it? You can have a vision of the future that tells you where you are going but you and your employees need a purpose that tells you why you are going there. There is more to your purpose than the bottom line; it’s not just about money, it has to be about making a difference. As a leader, you must make your purpose come alive for those who follow you; focus on the impact you want to have on the world. Your employees want to know that their work has meaning, that they are part of something bigger than themselves, something that matters. If you want a resilient organization that can stand the test of time you need a strong culture; this culture must be based on why, not what. Does everyone know why the organization exists? Where it is going? How it is going to get there? What role they play? Focus your energy on the why and allow your employees to help you figure out and implement the what that will get you there.
Lack of trust
Eric Hoffer explained, “Someone who thinks the world is always cheating him is right. He is missing that wonderful feeling of trust in someone or something.” The most important attribute you can develop as a leader is the ability to inspire trust. Without developing mutual trust you cannot lead effectively; your culture will suffer and your employees will never reach their full potential. You must create a safe space for discussion, debate, and collaborative problem-solving. Learn to welcome the challenges, criticism, and conflicting opinions that employees have to offer. Let them know that you always have their back. Show that you are authentic in all your dealings. The level of trust you develop in your organization will either add to your ability to influence others of subtract from your authority and poison your culture.
Us vs. them mentality
Sharon Salzberg said, “We can learn the art of fierce compassion – redefining strength, deconstructing isolation and renewing a sense of community, practicing letting go of rigid us-vs.-them thinking.” An us vs. them mentality divides your team, undermines your strength, and destroys your culture. You are a team; don’t let your position of authority lead you to believe you are better than anyone else. This mentality builds the silos that lead to ineffective collaboration, distrust, and a breakdown in communication. Be humble and recognize that none of you could do it on your own. Get rid of the us vs. them mentality and build trusting relationships and a sense of community throughout your organization.
Nurture Culture
What type of culture is your behavior as a leader developing? Have you developed your employees enough that you trust them to do their jobs without being micromanaged? Are your employees comfortable and even encouraged to challenge or question you? Does everyone in your organization know why they are doing what they do? Have you developed mutual trust throughout your organization? Do your employees work and collaborate as a cohesive team or have you allowed silos to be built? Pay attention to your behavior on a daily basis, I can guarantee that your employees are watching. Make sure you leadership behaviors are nurturing rather than poisoning your culture.
© 2015 Elizabeth Stincelli
Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.
Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.
Amazon.com: Overcoming Barriers in Your Leadership eBook: Elizabeth Stincelli: Kindle Store
Become an Exceptional Leader
“One rare and exceptional deed is worth far more than a thousand commonplace ones.” —Saint Ignatius
By Elizabeth Stincelli, DM
Exceptional Leadership
Exceptional leadership is not about you, it’s about those who follow you. It is the responsibility of the leader to steer the ship. But, an exceptional leader goes beyond just setting the course, they help their team to shape their ideas into something meaningful and then empower and encourage them to see their ideas come to fruition. Exceptional leaders focus on helping others achieve success. They have a strong sense of purpose and communicate that purpose to others through their words and actions. They develop strong relationships built on trust and respect. And, they engage others in their purpose by providing meaningful work and opportunities that inspire others to become the best they can be. Start working on becoming an exceptional leader today.
Communication
Rollo May believed that, “Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy, and mutual valuing.” Exceptional leaders understand the value of open communication in building a trusting, safe environment where employees feel their ideas and contributions are valued. This type of environment fosters as sense of community and the collaboration necessary for true innovation and success. Exceptional leaders use conversations to build connections by giving others their undivided attention. They use conversations as a means of provoking questions not providing answers. This allows them to incorporate the contributions from a variety of sources into one, awesome idea.
Trust
Stephen Covey tells us, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” Exceptional leaders are authentic, approachable, and compassionate. They empathize with others on a deep and personal level. We trust people who share our values, who do what they say they will do, who authentically invest in our relationship, and who treat us as they wish to be treated. Exceptional leaders understand that without trust they have little or no influence.
Engagement
Ian K. Smith said, “I think happiness is a combination of pleasure, engagement, and meaningfulness.” Exceptional leaders understand that everyone wants to feel engaged and of value. People want to know there is a purpose to their tasks, to be given control over their work, and to be encouraged to make it their own. Exceptional leaders see the value of the skills, experience, and knowledge that employees throughout the organization have to offer. They provide meaning and create opportunities for employee to engage in contributing to a purpose that speaks to them on an individual level.
Become an Exceptional Leader
Exceptional leaders bring people under a common purpose and then allow them to create their own ideas and provide the support they need to flourish. People will follow an individual in a position of authority because they have to; they will follow an exceptional leader because they want to. Commit to becoming an exceptional leader; build open communication, earn trust, and encourage engagement. You will make a difference in the lives of those who follow you and they will reward you with the loyalty and support you need to bring your leadership vision to life.
© 2015 Elizabeth Stincelli
Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership.
Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com and connect with her on Twitter @infinitestin, Google+, and LinkedIn. You can contact her by email at stincelliadvisors@gmail.com.